Week 8- And When He Has Tried Me, I Shall Come Forth Like Gold…

He Is An Awesome Wonder

This week’s topic has been the Father’s Heart and we have also been learning about spiritual gifts. This week’s speaker started prophesying and saying that there is someone here who has been finding it hard to sleep at night! I was like oh my goshhh this was me! It was yet another confirmation for me, demonstrating how awesome God is and it took my relationship with Him to another level. God speaks, He isn’t just a supreme being that sits on His throne in heaven, He is also here with us on earth…Can you hear Him speaking to you?

Fun Times With My Fijian Children

This week I led Kids club and the topic was The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-31). We did icebreakers, sang songs and performed a drama based on the story. I’m learning more and more the importance of teaching children to live according to the word of God especially as the world is becoming more corrupt by the day. If we teach our children the path of wisdom, we are saving them a lot of heart ache, frustration and confusion when they get older.  Proverbs 22:6 says “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”. It’s not only the responsibility of the parents to ensure that their children are walking in the right direction, as believers we are ALL apart of the body of Christ, if we see something needs correcting or feel that you could encourage a child in some way, we should. If we don’t then we become passive and God hates passivity, it’s sin; “to him therefore who knows to do good, and doesn’t do it, to him it is sin” (James 4:17). 

I had an eventful weekend with some of the ladies Auntie Jiurie introduced me to. Friday night was spent fellowshipping with other believers till the early hours of the morning. What a week end- it was definitely an eye opener for me filled with fresh revelations. It has probably been one of the hardest weeks of my life. I have felt lost and confused!

The weekend before my birthday has been a hard one. I have spent a lot of my time comparing myself to how I used to look. Satan has been discouraging me a lot this week, it’s my birthday in two days and I look sooo different from the person I was last year. God has been continuing to show me that my identity is comes from Him. He has been stripping me and it to be honest with you all, it hurts.

I broke down on Saturday night but I thank God for surrounding me with people to encourage me. My best friend Anna is such a blessing to me as well as the other girls I spent my weekend with. God is sooo faithful!!! 1 Peter 3:3-4 really spoke to me…my clothes, braids, make up, jewelry don’t define me as a person and also God is more concerned with my heart. I just pray that God gives me the grace to get through this process.

Apart of me didn’t want to come back to the base this week. I was dreading it. I want to go back to London but I know that if I do then I can’t and won’t fulfill my purpose and calling. I have felt distant from God, I have felt like He has stopped speaking to me. Isaiah 55:7 speaks about how our thoughts draw us away from God. This has been the case for me. My thoughts have meant I’m not focused on God.

I went back to the base on Sunday night and opened my Bible and I was led to Jeremiah 31:3-4. All I can say is that God is faithful beyond words. This passage of scripture described perfectly what God is doing in my life. It said; "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Again I will build you, and you shall be rebuilt". The word build means; to establish, strengthen, increase and mold. Sometimes I question and wonder why the changes and stripping has to take place but then I remember that it's because He loves me. God loves us too much to allow us to remain the way we are. I’m going through a season of change. I am in the process of being rebuilt. God has not left me. Being a disciple for Christ means you will be refined so God can use you as a vessel for His glory but in the end it will all be worth it.

This walk isn’t easy at all. God wants to transform us so we can become like Him. Some areas of my life are walking according to the ways of the flesh rather than the Spirit. Parts of my mindset are like the worlds rather than His Kingdom so now God is drawing it all out. I can choose to give up but then if I do, what’s next? Where will I go? Back to the world? Hell no! I refuse because there is nothing there for me in the world. Since Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden we all need to be rebuilt. God wants to restore man to be like He had originally intended in the garden of Eden. Us becoming born again is the first stage and as important as it is, it doesn't end there. After conversion, we need to allow God to transform us. Will you allow God to rebuild you?