So after 2 months of being away from the
base I just couldn’t believe that 6 months was up already! I had so much to reflect
on. Like I felt like a completely different person to the one that arrived in
Fiji in March. I’ll be honest with you, when I arrived I was a confused,
immature London girl with braids down to my back + a whole lot of issues and
baggage. But over the past 6 months so
much has changed. God has indeed rebuilt me (Jeremiah 31:4). My countenance,
skin colour, hair, mind and above all my relationship with God has changed. God
has truly taken me on a journey and a half and renewed my mind.
He Is My Source
Being a missionary=TRUST GOD and this in itself
was a big test for me. Before I became a missionary, I was in full time
employment and got paid every Friday. I would freely take out cash, go to
restaurants and shop whenever I desired. I was not as disciplined as I thought
I was. The majority of my paycheck would
go on me, myself and I. I thought me tithing and serving in church was enough,
but people it’s not! Looking back I see that although I had converted and
become born again, I hadn’t allowed God to transform my mind and way of
thinking.
God has been teaching and is continuing to
show me that my security comes from Him and not my bank balance. Looking back I
see that I was someone who was very very materialistic. I loved the labels and
brand names and would only shop in certain places but God being God knew that I
had to be humbled. He has stripped me and has shown me that my identity is in
HIM and not in the things of the world. Just the other day I went shopping in a
second hand shop and brought a few items which made me even realize even more
how far God has brought me.
I Am What God Says I Am
Also I realise that I failed to embrace who
God made me, like I would always wear make up and cover my hair by wearing
extensions. Now before any of you bite my head off, I’m not saying that there
is anything wrong with wearing make up and wearing a weave or extensions,
however I found that with myself I was conforming to the patterns of the world
by trying to be someone other than the person God created me to be.
Like for example I became addicted to make
up, struggling to leave my house without wearing make up or my natural hair out
due to fear of what people would think. Psalm 139:14 declares that we are
FEARFULLY & WONDERFULLY made yet I paid more attention to what the world
thought of me, trying to keep up appearances and failed to listen to what my
creator was saying concerning me. I used to struggle a lot with the colour of
my skin, and questioned God about why I was so dark and then when the sun made
me even darker I became insecure and no longer felt ‘beautiful’. God kept
saying ‘Josie you’ are the apple of My eye’ but I wouldn’t believe it. In
Isaiah 29:16 it says how can the clay say to the potter why did you make me
like this? I was so convicted and realized I doubted Him. Our identity is in
who He says we are and not what we think about ourselves.
Take Nothing For Granted
Something else I have noticed about myself is
that I am so particular about people around me wasting food. Like it grieves my
spirit. I have experienced times where there was only plain rice and tea or
even just noodles for days on end because money was tight. Spending 6 months
living in lack has taught me to appreciate and be thankful for EVERYTHING. Like
there are families around the world starving and struggling to put bread on the
table and yet I used to take it all for granted. I believe that the way we treat
things is an indication of how much we value it. In my case, I didn’t value the
things God gave me and took the daily blessings like food and water for
granted…ouch!
Hearing God’s Voice
I’m a talker, I love to talk, however when
it comes to our relationship with God it has to be two way and I needed to
allow God to speak through me shutting up and listening. I have learnt that if
I do not take the time to listen and hear God’s voice, I will struggle in my
walk with God full stop. Over the past couple of months I have been through
sooo much and have to make important decisions and choices concerning my
future. I have needed direction and confirmations from God and it’s only
through hearing His voice that I was able to press on. How can we know the best
thing to do if we don’t go to God and seek His counsel? For example a couple
weeks before graduation I experienced yet ANOTHER stressful situation. This time the issue was to do with my visa.
So basically there were miscommunications with my visa and I was told my visa
would be valid for a year only the immigration told me that the information I
was given was incorrect and that I would have to leave Fiji by the 25th
September.
My initial response was “what the heck?!”
and then “but God I thought you told me I’m not meant to go back to London
now?!”. A couple of months ago I got a
confirmation from God that I’m to stay in Fiji for 6 months so when this
happened I was left confused and needed clarity from God. It was only through
seeking Him and knowing His voice that I was able to know what to do. In the
end, God spoke to me again and confirmed that I was to stay in Fiji through a
song I was listening to one morning. My visa issue got sorted and God came
through for me yet again. He literally made a way out of NO WAY!
He’ll Never Give Me More Than I Can Bear
I have learnt to trust God and have faith
on ANOTHER LEVEL! Like looking back, God taken me through so many valleys and
mountains, sometimes I sit and wonder how on earth was I able to overcome all
those things-Only God. I have been sick and contracted skin diseases and experienced
more changes in the past 6 months than in my whole entire life. I’ve had
confrontations and conflicts with people, issues with language and communication
and also been a victim of prejudice and racism. YET in spite of it all, God has
never left me, His grace has carried me through. I feel like Ruth living in a
foreign land with no one but God to fight my corner.
Let The New Season Begin
On the 13th September I
graduated from the Discipleship Training School and I couldn’t wait to leave
the base. I met someone in church a couple of weeks ago and shared with her that
I wanted to get involved in counseling. She mentioned that her and her friend
were talking about how they are looking for a counselor. That blew my mind away…God
had opened yet another door for me. So now I’ll be spending the next 6 months
volunteering and counseling the police officers and it’s all because of Him. The
lines have indeed fallen for me in pleasant places (Psalm 16:6). We can make our
plans but it’s the Lord that directs our steps (Proverbs 16:9). I have now moved to the city and am excited
to see how God wants to use me.
Thanks for taking the time to read what I
have been up to.
P.s my email address is josieagyeman@gmail.com, feel free to
drop me an email.
Miss Josie Jo
Xxx
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