This week has been yet another hard and perplexing week for me. I have felt so lonely and
withdrawn from everyone. And to add to
it, God has been continuing to expose and purify me but in spite of everything,
I have found myself pouring my heart out to God more and more.
Feeling Weary & Alone
This weekend the YWAM conference took place
and to be honest I didn’t feel like going at all! On Friday, we were waiting
for the bus to go to the conference and I was thinking ‘Oh Lord I don’t see the
point in going out this weekend, I just wanna be by myself’. Then the bus came
and I heard someone calling my name. I looked up and saw one of the girls from YWAM
New Zealand that I met a couple of weeks ago. My first reaction was “God You’re
amazing”. He is so faithful guys, He knew I was lonely and provided a companion
to encourage and lift my Spirit. My God steps in right on time hehe.
One the opening night at the conference, we
have a worship ceremony. I poured out my heart to God and told Him that I
wanted to encounter Him in a fresh way and He heard and answered me. I was
having communion with Ranadi when I felt God’s presence. He touched my
shoulders. I knew it was Him and it was just what I needed. There are seasons
and moments in our lives when we feel like no one understands us, when we feel
like we are completely alone. And that’s not true. Jesus is our closest friend.
When your friends and family forsake you, Jesus has promised to never leave nor
forsake you (Hebrews 13:8). Even when you don’t feel His presence He is still
here with you. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever and that’s the
Good News!
Something Heather Lindsey said really
encouraged me; she said “whenever I get lonely, I know that it’s God calling me
back to fellowship with Him. So take that lonely feeling & give it to God.
Pour out.” This was so true for me. It’s in those dark moments that we need to
turn to God more than ever before and go deeper.
My Father Is So Awe-some!
This weekend turned out to be a refreshing
experience for me lol. I woke up at like 6.20am on Saturday and me along with
two friends went to go and sit on the beach and watch the sun come out. The
heavens truly do declare the glory of God, the God we serve is so big like no
words can express how incredible God is!
So remember in my last blog post I spoke
about how I wasn’t sure about the next step for me after outreach, well this
week I met a woman who happens to be a counselor and this is the route I want
to pursue after I finish. We spoke and she advised me about the possible steps
I could take after I finish outreach. God used the lady to give me direction
concerning my future. Like isn’t God just incredible??!
I Know That My Redeemer Lives...
Psalm 40:1-3 has been a real source of
encouragement for me this week. This scripture is not just referring to being
born again and Christ redeeming us, it’s also referring to the here and now. Over
the past couple of weeks I have felt like I’m in the wilderness. But God has been so loyal and caring. The
horrible pit in verse 2 can represent a season of darkness; situations when you
feel stuck and feel like there is no way out. But Yahweh has promised to
deliver us from our trials (Psalm 34:4). If we wait on Him in patient
expectation, we will discover security and refreshing newness fellowship with
Him.
And The Transformation Continues…
This week’s topic was called Plumb line and
one of the speakers helped me to discover that some of my past experiences have
affected me emotionally. This is an area God is currently dealing with in my
life. Whilst she was praying for me, I saw an image of a coconut. God showed me
that the coconut represents me and He wants to break my heart of stone. A coconut
is hard and woody on the outside whilst the inside is white flesh, which
contains clear liquid. God revealed to me that my past experiences have led to
me building up walls around my heart.
God also led me to the revelation that when
we build up walls around our heart because of past hurt, we not only push
others away but we also push God away too and this will affect our relationship
with Him. What’s the solution? We must be real with God, take our issues to Him
and allow Him to heal us of our hurt otherwise the issue becomes a stumbling
block in our lives. What is a stumbling block in your life right now that is
affecting your relationship with God and others?
No comments:
Post a Comment